Dreams To Remember...

Somewhere along our own personal journey's, it seems that we all lose sight of the things that we love.  This is not true for everyone, but for me, I know that it is true.  It's easy I guess to get caught up in the hustle bustle of "growing up".  Lately I've been giving lots of thought to the notion of WHY we lose sight of our dreams.  As a kid, I know that I used to have so many more aspirations for the future.  Everyday was a new adventure and I never knew what was going to be around the next corner.  Up until recently, that feeling had been gradually fading.... honestly I felt like a part of me was dying on the inside....  Sorry to be a downer, but is that not a reality?  I don't know, maybe that's just me....

I lost my zeal and luster for life at some point (lost is past tense, as to be uncovered later). Dominated by school, work, sports, etc... I felt like everyday was just another cast and mold that society forces us to conform to.  To be quite blunt, it stinks.  Anywho, what I am getting at is this....  I have been spending a lot of time with the Big Man lately, and He has restored those feelings of youth and adolescence to my heart.  I LOVE it!!!  I have and always will be an adventurous person, whether it be in sports, food, experiencing new things.  Love being challenged by new endeavors.  When I was a kid, I had these huge dreams about what my life would look like!  Not careers or houses or cars or any of that junk.  But the stuff that really mattered... church, friends, family, an awesome dog maybe?  Of course my dreams included the awesome job and things of that nature, but ya'll are what is really important.  So while I've been chattin with God, he kinda reminded me of a few things that I had forgotten... pay attention, cause these are important and good for the soul.  1) Don't make work or school your life, it doesn't amount to anything in the end.  2) Any chance you have to talk about the Lord, do it.  That opportunity was given to you on purpose, so make it purposeful.  3) Trust people.  Life is a lot easier if you give people a chance (at least, I have found this to be true).  4) This is the kicker...  LOVE people.  It is the most simple commandment God gave us, yet it is the hardest things to do.  I have to remind myself of this all the time, because it is not always easy to love.  It is hard to make yourself vulnerable like that....  

So, these were just some thoughts that I felt needed sharing.  In the meantime, try to remember to dream a little bit, it never hurt anyone... promise.  

P.S.-  Bee, I love you man... Sorry I'm a jerk dude.  I realize I'm not a great friend... Love you.

Hip Hop, Please DON'T Stop!!!

So Friday night, the Smitster and I decide we are going to go out with my co-worker Josue.  His name is pronounced in some funky, Portuguese-ish way (Portuguese because he is from Bermuda).  Which is apparently the only sub-culture of people to inhabit London, because alllll of the people I am friends with are from Bermuda, rather spectacular (.... any MGMT fans out there? oracular spectacular? eh?).  Moving forward.... We went to the grand opening of this new night bar cleverly dubbed the "Doodle Bar".  The concept was very simple, yet possessed endless entertainment for the evening.  All was painted white, even the waiters (they were dressed in white, not painted, given.).  The idea was to capture who the people truly were, so they allowed everyone to draw whatever they wanted on all of the walls..... and logically, I wrote an enlarged, Bubble-Lettered version of my best "Roll Tide", signed JT Berney.... two points for the good guys.

The night was a blast!  They had a sweet DJ playing a lil hip hop at the start of the night, but it turned into some sweet swing-jazz toward the end of the night, which I loved of course.  When it was time to leave, Danny boy snagged one of the sweet posters which are displayed in the above pictures (a bit of editing applied if we're being honest).  Needless to say, there was some very enticing dance moves being thrown down by these British Nationals... hahaha, rich!!!  

The next morning, around 2, maybe three in the afternoon, we noticed we were hungry after our Nido hibernation.  We thought, hmmmmm, what do our bellies think about this peculiar situation... and they answered right on que... All signs pointed directly to => Portabello Road Market.  Wonderful.  I was going to try and stay away from sweets on Saturday.... my ambitions for healthy eating were shot point-blank as soon as I saw that market.  I proceeded to spend the entire lump sum of cash in my  pocket (roughly 20 quid (or pounds for you newbs)) on food.  I was actually able to eat a huge Baggette, three gargantuan doughnuts, a flat of raspberries, and a massive version of a crepe.... I left, in a satisfied state.  

Also at Portabello Road, I was looking at some antiques, and as I peer out of the corner of my eye, I notice an American.  I look at her for a second.... oh yeah, I know her, its Maggie Gyllenhaal.  Just chillin.  Pretty neat to see a star, but whatever.

Aight folks, tis all for now...  "Ta"

Who will love you? Who will fight? Who will fall, far behind?

Monday, I went to a very low key concert in a more suburban area of London.  During the switch over for the bands, I heard Bon Iver's "Skinny Love"....  I immediately thought about Kristin.  When I got home, I frantically search google for the title and artist of the song (I only knew about ten words from the song, none of the other needed info....).  I had to know what this song was.  After about 45 minutes of quality "research", something that I think I'm starting to become fairly thorough at, I finally found the title.

This song reminds me of Kristin for very beautiful reasons.  The humbling and methodical tempo represents the very certain and commanding walk that she takes through life.  Kristin puts an erratic numbness on the piercing times in my life.  She is such a comforting and uplifting friend.  I actually think that she is distantly related to Ruth from the Bible... probly third or fourth cousins, somewhere a way's down the line.  Back to the song.  Lyrically, it brings to mind how young our relationship is.  The term "skinny love" (I'm not dropping the 'L' bomb, that is simply what the song says.... I would say, in deep like at this point) just reminds me of how young and adolescent our relationship is (or any relationship that I have for that fact).  All to often I catch myself reminiscing about the times that I have had in my life where I think that I am "becoming so mature and soooo much older"... what a load of rubbish.  I feel like I've had a relationship with some people forever, but it still so early in life.  Hearing the words "skinny love" reminds me of the life and the good times and the people that we all have yet to discover and explore!  

The chorus of the song is really special to me, because it reminds me of everything Kristin and I have talked about sooo many times.... sometimes til 4, 5.... maybe 6 in the morning.... bright and squirrelly.  I won't repeat what we talk about us, that is just for us thank you :)

Continuing, I also am comforted when I hear this tune... I think that comfort comes mainly from the "folky" nature of the song.  I'm always reminded of Alabama when I hear that type of music, and for those of you who know me best, you know that I love, I looooove Alabama.  But is also is comforting because it makes me think of my girlfriend.  Very simple song, but very deep under the surface.... just like Kristin.

Song review.... done, ca-put, finished, el fin.

Girlfriend review.... to be continued.... happily and willingly....

Thanks for listening to WJTB Radio, where you hear all the latest and greatest tunes and stories from JT's liiiiife.  Signing off for now, this is JT "radio's my life" Berney.... Cheer's, and please, Mind The Gap!!

Surprise day of the Century... My life's Century of course.

Today was gorgeous.  We were stirred this morning by a heat wave moving conveniently through room 5.44 of the Nido living residence (i.e., me and Daniel' room).  After we went to our Professional Development Seminar this morning, we went out to get some lunch.  We found that to satisfy our grumblin tummies, we wanted to visit the Borough Market..... superb decision.  This place was incredible (see pictures posted above for further detail).  There were bread stations, wine distributers, food and candy vendors.  Anything you could possibly want to have eaten, they had it.  Smitty was particularly obsessed with the olive vendors, which, if I do say so myself, were rather tantalizing with their open range of olive options.  After we ate and walked around for an hour or so, we headed back to the hizzy.  When we arrived at our destination, (asided quote of the day: "Please, mind the gap"... feel free to insert this phrase anywhere deemed necessary), Dan proceeded to take a nap while I watched a borrowed original British film.  It was not spectacular.  

Tonight, we went out with John, our new bud from Indiana.  He had some friends that he brought along from Scotland.  He somehow knew these girls, who knows?....  So toward the end of the night, I was talking with this one girl, and she started asking me all of these questions about religion in America.  It is amazing to see the random times that God allows you to use your witness.  I ended up sharing some of the Gospel with this girl for about an hour.  It was amazing to see the possibilities that lit up in this girls eyes.  I was just in awe of what God had presented me with.  He total spoke through me tonight because this girl totally presented me with an issue that I had NO IDEA HOW TO APPROACH.  God is truly the Big Cheese.  He is my Total Chillage.  He made that conversation possible and He made that possibility come into reality.  

Just when I was struggling to see the light, He came through with an awesome event like tonight.  He is truly a God of perfect faith, and perfect timing.  He could not be anything more, but at the same time, I could not be anything less..... and that's what makes it perfect, indeed. Surprise of the Century, of course not.... Of my life?  Yup, so far.....

We are the same height, that is neat.

So I bought a new Kings of Leon album yesterday (Saturday).  It was way past due and I just couldn't take it anymore.  After I loaded it onto the pod, I went for another run through the good ol' streets of London.  This time, I ran in a district called "Angel" on Upper Street.  It was about 9 AM on Saturday, so there were a few people shopping at the time of the adventure.  It was a gorgeous morning and the run was almost perfect!  Fell in love with the new cd, it's incredible.  Along the way, I saw something pretty rich.  While I was running, I smelt a hint of herb in the air (that's pot for all the naive brains out there).  It didn't phase me due to the nature of the people over here in London.  As I approach the smell, I noticed the man smoking the lil' doob was wearing a Manchester United jersey.  The interesting thing about this old timer, was that he only had one arm.  That wasn't going to kill his good time though, noooooo way.  He was straight chillin with that cheeba rolled up and taking hit after hit.  Anywho, thought that was a funny story bout my run.

After the run, Daniel and I went on a picture outing for the entire day.  I took a few pretty cool ones that you can check out on F-Book.  Kinda went overboard, but then again, maybe not.  (Insert:  Forgot to tell this story=> When I got home from the run, Smitty walked in with a 15" tv...?  He said he was in a park talking to some Irish guy that used to be in the IRA.  Said he used to assassinate people.  He also said he was pretty cool and that he gave us this tv to keep up with the news.  Smitty gets in some very strange situations sometimes.... still love him.)  

After the picture show, we went back to the room.  I then proceed to absolutely conk out at about 8:30.  Smitty goes out to meet up with our new friend John Bradford.  He comes back at about 4 AM and he is yelling something about his laptop being stolen.  I knew not what he was ranting about because I was in the room the entire night, so no one could have stolen it.... right?  Well, I start to freak out now because I think someone has come into the room while I was in a deep coma.  Daniel leaves, then returns about 10 minutes later... with the laptop.  He had left it in the cafe.  Good news for him, and for me.  Now I can sleep peacefully with no fear that my door will let strangers in.  Creepers....  

This morning, Sunday, I didn't wake up 'til 9:30.  That's right, 13 hours of sleep.  It was ballin'.  After I got out of the shower, Dan was still sleeping and I hear him say something in his sleep.  He said something about Nazi's and ripped the covers off his body.  It was very violent and scared me a bit, but I'm alright now.  After that, I went out on my own for the entire day and kinda soaked up God's glory.  It was cool to realize that God is everywhere in this world, not just in America.  He blessed me with an amazing blue sky today and some awesome alone time.  I just put my iPod on and walked alllllll day, just chillin everywhere I went.  I actually found a music area of town and got to play a lot of different guitars.  Really needed to do that, had a ton of fun!  Also, I found a Ben & Jerry's and was able to eat some Phish Food.  Reminded me of Kmac and home, which was awesome.  

That's it for now I suppose.  Miss all y'all and I can't wait to come back and see y'all!!!!

Getting lost, using the Tube, tons of F-bombs, and being okay with it all

So Daniel missed his flight.... twice.  I tried my darndest to get him on a flight last night, but it just didn't happen.  Therefore, I was left to fend off the F-bomb dropping, concert going, wreckless driving British by my lonesome.  Getting off the plane, all I could think about was how I would be stopped at immigration.  With all the problems I had getting my Visa, it only seemed logical.  Obviously, they somehow let me in (despite my past history of alleged terrorist activities.... just joshin).  Next on the agenda: Buy a train ticket to London Victoria Station.  Ended up costing about 16 Pounds.  Picked up my luggage and headed for the train station.  This is where the "Holy mess, I'm lost in a foreign country" feeling really started to take affect.  As I wait for the train, I have this feeling that I am about to do something very, very wrong.  Being the genius that I am, I decide to ask a lady if this train will take me to London Victoria.  As suspected, I was boarding the wrong train.  With haste, I threw my 150 lbs. of luggage (exaggerated for dramatic effect) off the train and lugged it back up the stairs to find the right Platform.  Proceed to the correct train and on to London.  In comes the crazy cab drive.  It was actually pretty perfect, seeing as ALL we talked about was the sweet concerts he used to go to in London (Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Rod Stewart, The Rolling Stones, etc.).  Yes, I was a bit jealous.  A 15 minute taxi ride and one musical conversation later, I was in front of Nido.  I try to check in, but my room is not clean yet.  In the down time, I figure I'll head out for a little while and stake out the area.  Seems pretty nice.  When I come back, I move into my room and grab some cash money.  I wasn't sittin around for any length of time.  E-Brock calls me up and says to meet them for lunch at The National Gallery.  ENTER, The Tube.  Now, the Tube is actually pretty simple, but the Oyster Card is confusing.  I got fed up with trying to buy a ticket with the card and just purchased one with the cash I had.  When I met up with Jill and E-Brock, we walked to a host of sights (Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, Parliament, The National Gallery, saw the sight of the changing of the guards, Buckingham Palace).  All the while, I'm working on a lame egg biscuit from the flight and about 10 minutes of sleep within the past 30 hours, i.e. walking zombie.  After we eat lunch (I will post about the lunch experience later, too much for this one) I book it back to Nido for some sleep.  Post-nap, I call Camilla and meet up with her.  This about concludes the first day in the UK.  Overall, rather successful if I say so myself.

Though it has been great so far, I really felt this feeling of loneliness when I got to my room. Blessing in disguise, I am convinced.  I just had to sit down and listen to some worship music and pray.  It was awesome.  I also went on a great run this morning that gave me some inspiration.  Just reassured me that God is still with me, even when I am feeling lost and alone. Go God!

More to follow....

P.S.- Miss you K!

Revelation of T-rue Love/ Confirmation of God's Awesomeness!

.... it is truly unreal... unimaginable.  I know I said I don't want to write about personal things on this blog, but I feel like this needs to be shared and it could be advantageous/inspiring for ya'll who care.

As I am brought to my proverbial knees, this ripping and tearing of years of stagnant love and hate (all mixed up into a clouded ball inside my soul) comes flowing out as a river of unpreventable tears.  I sit in a corner, alone as I seem to be favoring lately, until my blurred eyes meet those of one of my best friends in the world... the anointed Maury Carlisle.  He sees me and comes straight up to me and begins to ask what was up.  Tell him about these past three years of my life, which ya'll don't know yet, but they have been the most "oppressed and dark times that I have experienced".  I stumble and slur my speech about how I've been ripped up, chewed up, and spit out... haha, like the outdated and stale bag of BBQ chips in my kitchen right now, sorry, beside the point.  Continue to express how I've felt sooo insignificant lately and how I feel so used and under-appreciated.  

So Maury, grabs my tear-laden hands and says, "Brother, you are God's desire, He wants you and I assure you that you are the most SIGNIFICANT thing in the universe!!".... and of course, the floodgates open and I'm shaking like an earthshake.  I'm praying for God to just restore my heart and my ability to love like he does, unconditionally.  Cause that's truly what I love and WANT to do, is love my friends unconditionally.  We continue praying for about an hour, just tons of confession and renouncing of the lies of Satan... AWESOME STUFF!!!  I also pray, as Maury suggested, for a revelation of God's love, and I think I found a small bit of that in Psalm 45.

This is just my interpretation of this Psalm, and I could be way off, but I feel like this is how the Lord was speaking to me through this scripture.

I feel like I am the king defending truth, humility, and justice.  God has given me everything I need to go out and "perform awe-inspiring deeds!"  Not only do I have this power, but anyone who believes in him, has the potential to be even more holy and perform greater miracles than John The Baptist (forgot the reference for that verse, but it's there).  

And this is the part that really shows that He is speaking to my issues of love.  I am constantly praying for my future wife and such, and this is just perfect for me.  Verse 13 paints a gorgeous bride (I guess it could mean an actual bride, or Christ) that is waiting to be wed.  I was just so astonished at this verse.  Felt like God was talking directly to me.  Needless to say, it felt pretty great to have the Lord of All chit-chattin' with me about my issues.  

Sorry this post took so long, annnd if any of ya'll ever want to talk about anything like this (or anything at all), just hollar at me...

After a long leave of absence...

I felt like I was being called to write something of encouragement.  Annnd off we go!!  

Just wanted to kick this one off with a personal thought.  I was walking on the quad today, and it was awesome!!  The Lord just wanted to bless us with some awesome weather I guess.  But anywho, let's dive in shall we?  (hahahaha, "get. in. the Water!!, I'm sorry baby... get in the WATER!!)..... Just felt like I am always needing someone to come up to me and encourage me, ya know?  Everyone has those days when there is just something.... what, off?  out of whack?  The thing I would like to remind everyone about is this, "God the Father..." (i.e., Daddy, Yeshua, Yaweh, The Big G, The One and Only), "chose YOU..." (yes you, and me), "long ago, and the Spirit has made you holy!"- 1 Peter: 2.  What?!?!?!  Seriously? The one who created the universe, who created awesome stuff like fun dip and Disney World!!,.... he wants what?

That's right guys, the one thing the LORD wants for himself is us.  That's it.  Simple request.  And catch this... He doesn't just WANT us, he CRAVES for us, he LONGS for a relationship with us!!  We are his one and only desire!  He could create another perfect being to find companionship, sure... no problem.  But He created us "in His image".  We are his pride and joy and He will NEVER, NEVER give up on us or abandon us!!!  So if that isn't encouraging enough for you, let's pose part dos, yeah?

1 Peter:3- "Now we live with a wonderful expectation because Jesus Christ rose again from the dead." v.6- "So be truly glad!  There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while."

So when you have a rough day, and everything in YOUR plan isn't working out, just step back and look at the big picture.  Check out God's panorama on our life... ready?  Just know that the Lord allows us to go through trials so that or faith will grow.  But, He promises to restore our hearts.  He is always there for you to call upon Him.  And we know that as his children, we have everything to look forward too!!!  

P.S.--Suggested song to listen too-  Zerubbable by Ric Pino  ( I think that is how it's spelt?).... Enjoy!

 

"Daddy, I'm hungry...."

This is gonna be a two part, punch you in the gut post.... here we go.  So last night I'm sitting in church (The Well), and Ed starts talking about his kids.  He gives this real elaborate story about how his daughter wouldn't eat dinner and later complains about being hungry.  What he said made me really start to think....  his daughter looks up at him and says "Daddy, I'm hungry".  I thought, how terribly perfect this statement was.  Got to thinkin about how, (no offense to my friends who are reading this right now), dull and uneventful my life has been lately.  I've been having this craving for something more, as if I knew I was missing something that I used to have, and all of a sudden,.... it was gone.  That line, "Daddy, I'm hungry", it just shouts out what my heart has been screaming for three years!  In that one moment, sitting there in that sanctuary, MY Daddy (as HE always does) opened my eyes, but this time I opened them.  For the first time in a long time, I knew for a fact, for certain, what was missing.  "Daddy, I'm hungry...".   Had to repeat it time and time again because it was so sweet.  So knowing that, I urge you to stop pushing away from what God wants to do with you.  We try everyday to fill our voided hearts with senseless, society-provoked trinklets that we think will satisfy our appetite.  We are HIS creation and He gave us desire for His food, His knowledge, His pure and wholesome, nutritious GOODNESS.  Please, come to the table, eat and drink... then, "if you love Him, feed His sheep"!!

The second topic on my agenda, "Divine Romance-by Phil Wickham" (beautiful song)

This song really inspires me to live my "love life" the way that I do.  When I say that I mean, I don't seek love.... two reasons, heed them if you feel the need: 1) The Lord taught me about a year or so ago, that to love woman the way I am supposed to, I must first learn how to LOVE my Father, 2) When you love the LORD with all that is YOU, then and only then, will you be completely satisfied (in the song).

Now I'm not saying I think that loving the Lord is all that He wants for us.  He designed us to be with each other, and I totally believe that... and I am slightly pumped about the day that he gives me that chance.  Anyway, about the song. The last lines are great.  "A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You".... this line is the TRUTH!!! (I'm reeaaaallll pumped right now!!).  His love can be so encompassing and powerful, that it just takes you like a swift, unseen rip-current.  The only difference, is that it gives you that, adrenaline rush that makes you wanna pee your pants, not the rush that makes you feel like you'll die (but you are in a sense, dang it!  good pun!).  Anyway, I just was thinking about some of these things, thought I'd scribble them down. Enjoy. IN HIM, fo sho... 

 

First post, it's a little rough, pretty drafty.

So I was thinking about starting this blog, finally got around to it.  No bigs, ya know?  Sittin here listening to a lil' pandora and felt inspired to do it, so I'm doing it.  This is kinda a random post I guess.  I went to my 6 o'clock class tonight (kicking and screaming), only to be very surprised how down-to-earth the prof was.  It was actually very relieving to know that he is going to be so cool, makes going to a night class a lot easier.  

I also wanted to kind of leave a thought to those who will actually read this, I think I'll do it every time I Post.  Lately I've been thinking a lot about what exactly I'm going to do with my life and I've been trying to map out the next "x" amount of years... and I got to thinking, this is what life is all about.  If God wanted our lives to be boring and dull, He would have made our decisions for us.  The fact is, He allowed us to make choices for ourselves so that we can have adventure!  How boring would life be if we knew exactly what would happen this time next year... I guess that's kinda like love (which is another thing that I think about a lot, probably more than I should).  It (love), should be something that kind of slaps you in the face I think.  You shouldn't see it coming, 'cause that would ruin the whole excitement of it all....